so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
