I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
