haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
