I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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