pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Damn victory sex feels great
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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