Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
