Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
