isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
