I think my vagina is haunted
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We need to get me chipped asap
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize