i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
