I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
