Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm like, not good at living.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
