I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
