I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
