I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
