Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
