I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
