She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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