woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He has the fingertips of a God
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