I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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