i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
