i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
