He kissed a someone with a penis
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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