But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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