So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
