I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
This is my life. Enjoy the view
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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