R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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