Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
