Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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