Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
