similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
