sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
