I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just high enough for therapy.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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