they need to just BURY HIM!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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