Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We had to coat check the pizza.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
