I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
