omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That accounts for only three of the penises
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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