Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
