she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
