Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
