Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize