i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
