the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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