I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
