I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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