The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
