i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
