fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
