I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
