i think my mom watched the whole time
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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