Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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