Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
