There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
