Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
