Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
