do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
