dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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