What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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