that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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