some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
