so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
