I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
