we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
