Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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