Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
