is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
