she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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