Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
