i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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