He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
