so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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