im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
