Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
