he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
