8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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