Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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