you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
