I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
