Will you blow on my dice?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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