Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
