Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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